Ethics
Prof. Ruscetta
22-October-2001
In today’s society, sex is an everyday thing. There is no difference between it and turning on the television. Sex has lost its dignity. It is often exploited and tossed around like a rag doll. Within a certain boundary it is a great thing, but people have pushed that boundary far from what it was intended for. That boundary is marriage. Sex is a means of propagation as well as a source of pleasure and enjoyment shared between couples. Outside of marriage or before, sex becomes immoral.
In years past sex was held in a different light. It was still practiced, but it was viewed in a very much more serious way. You might say that in times gone by, it was sacred. This is a far cry from today where it can be found anywhere. Sex could be found in a program on television, in a magazine or on a website. Again, sex is not a bad thing, but its overuse and exploitation have gone too far. It is no different, in some aspects, from a narcotic, except that it is perfectly legal. In fact, sex can be bought on the streets.
This treatment however is nothing more than humans caving in to a very base desire, lust. The Greek word for lust was Eros. This is the physical attraction to another. Now lust itself is not bad either. Although it is something, if left unchecked, can run your life. Sex and lust, are not bad, but the over indulgence in these do pose potential harm. As I mentioned before, they are actually healthy, within certain boundaries.
In marriage, two people enter into an agreement to love each other until death. Although today, it is more like, until divorce. When sex is engaged in outside of the marriage bounds, the person who is married has broken their agreement. The excuse “I got bored of making love to same person” is often the excuse given by someone, who in his or her childhood was most likely spoiled and was given a new toy every week. Moreover, they must be poor in the act to think that it is boring. These people are shallow and have no control over their desires. It could also be stated that they do not care for another’s well being, particularly their spouse. They act as an animal living for what they “need”.
In history as well present times, there was no tolerance for adultery. The Julian laws, begun by Emperor Augustus, stated that someone, under certain circumstances, caught committing adultery could be killed on the spot. Today, adultery is grounds for a divorce in the favor of the victim of adultery.
The main reason for adultery being condemned is the fact that marriage is an agreement to love only each other, and this agreement has to go through the state first. Therefore, the agreement becomes a legal one.
This adulterous behavior can most likely be traced back to behavior patterns in a person’s past. A large amount of people, have sex before marriage. This is an unhealthy practice.
Of course there are the physical ramifications of diseases that can be contracted, although marriage is not immune to that. The rate of contracting a sexually transmitted disease is much higher in pre-marital sexual relationships. In a report from the center for disease control it noted that greater than 65 million people have an incurable form of a sexually transmitted disease. Teens and young adults are at greater risk because of multiple partners. This risk goes down for most people when they are married, because they do not engage in multiple sexual relationships.
Pregnancy is also a risk in pre-marital sex. I would assume that the rate of pregnancy is the same out of wedlock, as well as within. However, pregnancy out of wedlock is unwanted more often than within wedlock, and generally less accepted too.
These facts are more of a scare tactic though. In the military, explicit photos of certain diseases are shown to trainees and recruits, thus in effect, somewhat reducing the desire for sex which they may have a higher than usual drive for. However, statistics are important to know and be aware of, especially for those who do wish to engage in pre-marital sex.
From a Christian perspective, adultery is absolutely a sin. Adultery is number eight of the Ten Commandments. Fornication, as the Bible calls sex before marriage, is also a sin, but is not mentioned in the Ten Commandments. The Bible does mention that sex is the joining of two people "For this reason a man leaves his father and mother and joins himself to his wife and the two become one flesh." (Gen 2:24) Sex, according to the Bible, joins two people emotionally and spiritually.
From a secular viewpoint, sex still does join two engaged in it, emotionally. It is obvious that when two people have this relationship, that they become attached to each other. The problem with this is, they do not always become attached emotionally to each other for the right reason. They have both taken something from each other emotionally, and that can never be given back. This emotional “resource” is not unlimited and will run out.
When a person has come to this low point, they are desensitized to certain things in a relationship and do not care as fully as they could if they did not give away their heart so readily in the past. In the future they may not have as long lasting, nor very fruitful relationships. Therefore they hurt themselves mainly, but also the ones who try to love them. In the end they will only feel empty.
Another reason for abstinence before marriage will make sex in a marriage more exciting, and something that only the couple will share. They can have something they can both enjoy with each other. Sex should be a bonus to getting married, but not the terms for it. Of course there should be sex in a marriage, but it should be assumed there would be.
Many people feel they should “try before you buy” because they do not know whether their future spouse will be any good in bed. If you have never had sex before, then you would not know if that particular sex with someone was good or not. Bringing expectations into a relationship is a bad thing, because it will put pressure on the one you love, causing uneasiness. If both partners where inexperienced, they would have the opportunity to start at the same level, and they could learn together their particular tastes and preferences. Learning together would create a stronger bond between the couple, and also a longer lasting relationship.
My viewpoint comes from a biblical standpoint, and the Bible states that fornication and adultery is a sin. Obviously adultery is wrong, and for one reason makes you a liar and generally untrustworthy. As for fornication, this is a debatable topic. Unbelievers of the Bible would say that they do not believe in the God so they do not need to follow the Bibles standards. Believers who do not practice abstinence outside of marriage are hypocrites, and need to either stop having sex, or stop calling themselves believers. That is a harsh statement to some, but it does include myself in such a statement.
Although I do have a Christian stance on this topic, I also see that there is a general weakness in self-control. Self-control is an important virtue in a person’s character. When a person cannot control their desires, it makes apparent, weaknesses in a person’s character.
There should be a different treatment of sex in the world today; it has gone to far beyond the boundaries of marriage. People need to stop and look at what they are doing and realize whether they are doing something immoral. The exploitation should be curbed and thereafter purged from society, especially that which blatantly exploits it to persons of weak character. Then maybe sex can regain a bit of its dignity. My views are based in biblical belief, but it is ultimately up to the individual to make the decision to reform their acts. It sometimes becomes difficult to wait until marriage to have sex, with so many temptations all around. With self-control a person can have a moral character, and wait until they are within the bounds of marriage to enjoy this wonderful gift of the expression of love.
Works Cited
Center for disease Control “Tracking the Hidden Epidemics: Trends in STDs in the United States 2000”
19 Oct. 2001 <http://www.cdc.gov/nchstp/dstd/Stats_Trends/Trends2000.pdf>
Lefkowitz, Mary R. and Fant, Maureen B. “Legal Status in the Roman World”
18 Oct. 2001 <http://www.uky.edu/ArtsSciences/Classics/wlgr/wlgr-romanlegal120.html>